Don't Look Back!

For the past couple weeks, I've been hearing the phrase

'Don't look back' over and over again in my head and in my spirit. The first time that I heard it, I thought of two things: the song by Miguel and the story of Lot's wife in the Bible. You know how the story goes. God paid a visit to Abraham to give him some good news and some bad news. The good news was that because of the favor that was upon Abraham, God was going to bless he and Sarah with a son. The bad news was that because of the wickedness that had taken over Sodom and Gomorrah, God was going to destroy the cities. Well this wouldn't have been that big of a deal except Abraham's nephew Lot and his family lived in Sodom. Abraham contends, or intercedes, for Sodom in order to save Lot who was unaware of the Lord's plan to burn the city down. After Abraham wears God down, the two angels who accompanied God proceed to Sodom to warn Lot. Lot, apparently comfortable with his current situation and fearful of what's ahead of him, doesn't leave without the messengers having to physically take him by the hand and force him to his escape. As Lot, his wife and daughters make it to the outskirts of the city, they are warned to not look back. Lot's wife turns to the burning city and meets her demise right there on the spot.

Moving to Atlanta eight years ago was one of the most difficult things that I've ever done in my life. Deciding to go wasn't hard; going was hard. Leaving a familiar place that had been home for 40 years to come to an unfamiliar place where I had no family and no friends was scary but I knew that I had to do it. Although I was comfortable in that place, life had become ridiculously hard there. Not having the genuine support of family was enough fuel to kindle the flame that God had lit within me. I didn't have friends who understood my vision for my life and for my family. I didn't have a place to go to for corporate worship and fellowship - I had been kicked out of two churches and wasn't about to take my chances in another little small church in that small town. My life was headed for destruction there. Relationships were dying. The few friendships that I had were fake. My marriage was toxic. My spirit was depleted and my faith was running low. I was praying for people and encouraging them but couldn't even encourage myself. I remember lying on my closet floor praying and crying (probably more crying than praying) because I was so unhappy with my life. It was in that moment that I heard God say to me so very plainly, "By the end of the year, you'll be in Atlanta." God knew that He had to let me in on His plan and give me a hope for my very near future because I was about ready to tap out on life and every dream that He had given me. I wasn't going to kill myself- I had an unsuccessful attempt at that some years prior and having my stomach pumped sealed the deal that I would never ever do that again.I had never seriously considered leaving my hometown; I was comfortable there and it was safe for me. But I was on a slow burn to spiritual death. The environment where I was planted and birthed in was no longer conducive for my growth. I had to leave.

Thinking back and reflecting on the phrase that God has been speaking to me, don't look back; I now understand why He took me from there to here. Like Abraham, I had to step out in faith and leave behind all that I knew in order for God to align me with the blessings that He had set in place for me. Blessings of hope for my children and myself. Blessings of peace where there had been so much unrest and turmoil. Blessings of healing from hurts that came from people whom I trusted. And like Lot, although I didn't quite understand what was going on around me, I knew that even as fear contended for my faith that I had to move or otherwise meet my destruction. There are some days that I think of the way that things used to be or could be with family that I left behind and I hear that small voice saying, don't look back. When old acquaintances reach out to me, God reminds me of Lot's wife and how she met her demise when she looked back at what used to be. And then there are the fake friends. The ones who don't celebrate my growth and who never reach out just to see how I'm doing but will somehow manage to bring up wounds from the past and then wrap up the conversation with, 'but I didn't mean to ruin your day sis'....I refuse to look back.

What is it that God has delivered you from that you're being tempted to look back on? Past hurts? Don't allow old wounds to poison you so you badly that it's almost impossible to heal. Unforgiveness stagnates you. Forgiveness catapults you into God's grace, favor and will for your life. Let go of people who mean you no good and don't look back. Instead of complaining about bad work environments, cut ties with those employers and don't look back. FF&F, or fake family and friends - Maya Angelou said when people show you who they are, believe them. Jesus said He loved them but He knew their thoughts towards Him so He didn't trust them. Take the words of Maya, Jesus or both but keep pressing forward and don't look back.