I loved and respected my Dad so much; actually, I still do. Some of my favorite memories with him were taking walks to the park and along the river bank. He loved nature; I think that's probably where my love for the outdoors comes from as well. If time permitted, I could literally sit all day in the local town square with a good book in one hand and a journal in the other. Growing up I didn't spend a lot of time with my Dad because my parents were divorced; he didn't even live near me until I was an adult, married and with kids of my own. Although he wasn't there physically much of my life, I always knew without a shadow of a doubt that my Dad loved me, that he would protect me, provide for me and cover me. Because of my certainty of his loyalty and devotion to me, it would offend me to hear anyone say anything negative about him. In my eyes, my Dad could do no wrong. Yes, I'm a Daddy's Girl.
As I mentor and coach women in their relationships with men whom they are either dating or married to, I always ask what their relationship is with their father. What I've observed is that women who love and respect their dads have no problems respecting their boyfriends or submitting to their husbands IF and WHEN he is loving her, covering her, protecting and providing for her. I felt like I needed to emphasize those points because I've spoken to a lot of men who want respect but who are liars, cheaters, don't provide and can't be trusted with a woman's heart. But that's another post for another day. However, those women who have what we call Daddy Issues, are the ones who are constantly posting to social media about the way that they want to be loved but who are disrespectful and refuse to allow a man to take his role and lead. Or she's the woman who claims to be a Momma's Girl, but her mother is bitter, angry and doesn't know how to respect men so this behavior is exhibited within her own life. This type of woman can never be fully pleased no matter what the man does because she has trust issues that stem from an absent, distrustful father who broke her heart and she has no idea how to heal the deeply cut and badly infected wounds. When she says she loves her significant other, she truly believes that she does but as soon as her heart is bumped the scab comes off of an unhealed wound and the poison begins to seep it's way into the relationship. I'm sure that as you're reading this you've thought of at least a couple girlfriends who fit these descriptions. Or maybe it's you.
How do you heal from this and break the cycle of bad relationships? First, be honest with yourself. Do you love, respect and honor your father? Sis, if your answer is no, there is no way that you can fully and sincerely love, honor and respect your man. Let that sink in. You can try with the best intentions but it won't last. Take some time for yourself to heal, completely. Second, let it go. Forgive your father so that you can love and honor him from a clean heart. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to reconcile to him, especially if you know that reconciliation could open a door for you to become hurt or offended again. I've had to forgive a parent but made a choice to remain disconnected so that I am able to uphold God's Word to honor her. This way I'm guarding myself, obeying God and also protecting her in that she will never have access to my heart again and will not be able to provoke me to anger or offense. Do what you need to do for you, whatever that looks like and be sure that your choice is in agreement with the Word. Lastly, get in the Word and find out what God says about you, your role as a woman and as a wife, whether you're married or not. Study it. Meditate on it. As you do this, your mind will be transformed and lined up with His will and the role that you were created to play in your man's life. I am honored and blessed to be able to say that my Daddy taught me to love and respect men through his love for me. However, if you've been failed by your natural father, you have the Father Who loves you and is in relentless pursuit of your heart. As you yield to Him and allow Him to love you the way that He desires to, you will come out of it ready to love, honor and respect your man. You can then say too that you're
Always a Daddy's Girl.
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